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Justin's Christmas Carol |
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By Margo Perry
.1.Christmas Eve: 8:30 PM. For the first time in his life, Justin was all ready for Christmas before midnight. He poured a generous shot of brandy into his eggnog and swirled the glass, losing himself in the brown liquid trailing through cream.
He glanced
around the immaculate condo. The Christmas tree was decorated just
as she liked it: A myriad of pin lights lit silk red roses peeping
from branches. Brown and gold ornaments accentuated the lush green
of the tree, and glass angels had settled everywhere there was
light. She’d have been proud of his efforts; or, not. It was too quiet, despite her favourite Christmas music resounding through the apartment. He’d made all his celebratory calls, even to thank his family for their invitation to dinner, explaining that he needed to be alone this year. They’d tried to dissuade him, suggesting that he’d be better off spending the holidays with the family who loved him. He understood that they worried about him, but on Christmas Day, their love would smother him and leave him craving hers. He’d be a junkie panting for it and wouldn’t be able to sit still and that would upset them further. Had it been six months already, since he’d come home to a note that Beth had left for her parents’? That she’d been harbouring doubts for three of their six years of marriage. That she’d talk to him, but later. She’d come back to talk, but she wasn’t really there. She stared through him and babbled about moving in different directions and changed feelings. It was over and she left no room for him or hope. Friends had to tell him that there’d been somebody else for months and that her lack of interest in him had been more than casual. His throat was closing up and he began to feel nauseous with fatigue and longing. He’d put in a full day at the office, run around delivering presents, and had finished cleaning and decorating the condo. He’d worked like a monster, as if his efforts would bring her back. Or else prove that, no matter what he did, she never would. Deep down, he knew that she never would and that he was learning to live alone.
An animal
groan escaped him, as a heavy weight deposited itself on his chest.
He gulped his drink and prayed for relief, for time to heal, even a
little. It was hard to take, impossible to take. He returned to the chair, fighting tears, deciding, for the millionth time, that this loss was the hardest thing he’d ever been through. You have to go through it, to get through it. He poured more brandy into the half empty glass, grabbed her blanket that was folded neatly over the chair’s back, and pulled it over him. He determined to concentrate only on his blessings: a good job, financial stability and his wonderful family and friends. He had all the food and drink he needed and tomorrow was his. He thought about the jobless and the homeless, the sick and the hungry. Despite the emotional well of pain he was drowning in, it suddenly seemed egotistical to be complaining about lost love. He’d find love again. He would. That’s for sure. He’d cling to his faith until he did. His eyes were beginning slow blinks and he was grateful, even if it was too early for bed. He’d rest here. He emptied his glass, before resting it on the table, and closing his eyes. He would think only good thoughts. I miss her … I love her … I want her … more than ever. He couldn’t help himself. Tears trickled from behind shut lids. “Merry Christmas, Beth,’ he whispered to the empty air. “Please come back.” He sighed, as he felt himself drifting off. “Merry Christmas, Justin.”
.2. The voice sounded like Beth’s, but was too silky and deeply pitched to be hers. I must be dreaming. Justin could feel warm hands on his neck, rubbing, soothing. “Beth? Who are you? Is it Christmas?” He felt trapped in that space between sleep and wakefulness. He could smell perfume, a scent that reminded him of tropical fruit and the island he and Beth had spent their honeymoon on. “It’s still Christmas Eve, dear, but I need you to wake up. I have a busy night ahead.” Justin sat up, opened his eyes, and his jaw dropped, along with the blanket he was huddled in. “That’s right. It’s me, Santa.” The woman looked like Beth, but wasn’t. Her red thigh-high boots, topped with a thick band of white fur, matched her hat. Her short skirted, strapless red dress was laced up, corset style, with white straps. She was tall and slim like a dancer, like Beth, except for her face that glowed with love, warmth and good will. Justin jumped up from his chair. “Would you like to sit? Can I fix you a drink?” Santa threw back her head and laughed a deep throaty laugh. “It’s alright to stare. I know that people imagine me as a fat jolly old man. But I am as a person needs me to be.” Santa touched Justin’s face. “Please sit,” she said. Her voice washed over him like balm over a wound. He sat. “Justin, you are first on my gift list. Despite your pain, you’ve continued to take care of others. You kept the factory going, even when you were losing money, just to protect your employees and their families.” “I don’t deserve praise for that. That huge contract has made us more successful than ever.” “You didn’t know that would come. Please don’t interrupt.” Santa was smiling, but Justin shrunk back in his chair, worried that he’d upset her. “I know that Beth fought you, that finances were part of your problems. Santa is very proud of you. Your employees sing your praises year after year and your generosity to them and to Beth, despite her attitude, was exemplary. You went to the wire for others.” “I don’t expect gifts, that’s not …” “…why you did it? I know that, dear. Santa knows who’s naughty and who’s nice and you’ve been a lot more nice than naughty.” Santa then did something that I’d seen Beth do often. She lunged forward, in preparation for a pirouette and executed a perfect series of about eleven turns. That, I’d never seen. “You look so much like Beth, but different.” “Because different is what you need. Relationships are like shoes. They’re only good if they fit.” Santa stood smiling down at Justin, as his phone rang. “That’s the lobby. Your gift has arrived. It was too big for me to lug around. You’d better answer the door.” Justin picked up the receiver and punched in the entry code. “This gift is real and it’s yours, forever if you like. I’ll be checking back to find out if you’re enjoying it or if we need an exchange. You deserve happiness and Santa is going to make sure you get it.” Santa leaned down and kissed the top of Justin’s head. It made him so dizzy that he had to lean his head back against the headrest. His eyes had closed and, when he opened them, Santa was gone and someone was knocking at his door.
.3. Justin opened his door and it felt like he’d opened a warm oven on a cold day. His skin, his bones, indeed his heart felt perfectly comfortable for the first time in months. “I’m Carol.” “Carol …” Justin stared, immobile. Carol was all curves: shoulders, hips, ass and breasts, so round and full. He thought that her breasts might have been bigger than his head and he couldn’t help wishing that he could bury his face deep in their valley. She was a beautiful angel and Justin knew love at first sight. Love and embarrassment since his cock was betraying him and now tented his pants obscenely. “I have something for you.” Carol brought her arms forward and produced a gift basket. She held it out and Justin accepted. “Thank you.” His heart broke. He had misunderstood and thought that Carol was his gift, when she was simply bearing gifts. What had Santa said? He strained to remember her exact words. “May I come in?” Carol asked. “Of course,” Justin said, stepping aside and waving her in frantically. He felt so confused. He was afraid that if he moved in a certain way or said the wrong thing, she’d disappear and he’d awake from a heavenly dream … alone. He watched her move around the apartment. “Lovely tree,” she gushed, “and the apartment is so tidy. You’ve done a wonderful job!” Justin glowed. He wasn’t used to compliments. Beth had stopped stroking him years ago. “Can I get you a drink? I have wine or beer or eggnog or . . .” “Not yet. Sit and open your presents.” Justin sat. Obeying her was a pleasure. He returned to his chair and placed the basket on his lap. The first thing he pulled out was a CD of Dave Brubeck’s greatest hits. It was one of his favourites and Beth had taken it. Next he pulled out a fluffy beach sized deep blue towel. His eyes misted over. The basket was full of the things he’d given Beth, things he loved and missed. “Come,” Carol said, holding out her hand, the rest can wait. She took his hand and led him to the window. He couldn’t believe that the young couple were still draped over the car, making out. Carol squeezed between Justin and the window and turned into him. Her huge breasts were trapped between them and Justin’s heart was pounding out of his chest. “Do you like me? Am I your Christmas Carol?” “I love you!” Justin hadn’t meant to shout, but his feelings were raging out of control. He hadn’t thought there’d be feelings for anyone after Beth, but here they were, bigger than ever. Carol put her arms around Justin’s neck. He held her close. She gazed into his eyes and leaned in for their first kiss. It was a sweet nibbling, at first, a feathery licking of tongue over his lips. Justin felt his knees go weak and his head was swooning. He could feel his cock reaching out to her and she pressed back. He felt her pussy, her pubic bone engaging, seducing him. Her tongue was now investigating, dancing with his tongue, devouring. Justin gave himself over to his feelings and soon he was massaging her breasts. Reaching between her legs, groaning with pleasure, as her tiny hand fondled his balls. Finally, she stepped back. “When was the last time you took your woman out for a drink?” “It’s been a very long time.” Justin didn’t share that Beth had taken up with the drummer who played their favourite bar. That her affair had literally begun right under his nose. “Do you mind if I change?” In the center of the room sat a large suitcase. Where had that come from? Justin found himself smiling. With Carol, life was a glorious mystery to be enjoyed, if not understood. “Mi casa es tu casa,” Justin said. “I’ll show you the bedroom.” “I can find my way,” she said, literally skipping from the room. Justin didn’t doubt it. He had long ago realized that tonight, he was way over his head and he didn’t mind one bit. He couldn’t stop smiling. He thought about how his night had begun, about the cloak of desperate loneliness that had shrouded it. He felt a wave of gratitude. He took his basket to the tree and carefully placed every item under it. He smelled the bar of soap that they hadn’t been able to afford because of renovations to their condo, renovations that he wished he’d never started. “Justi-i-i-i-in.” Justin dropped the soap under the tree. Carol’s voice was syrupy, playful and very flirtatious. Without thinking, he gave his cock a rub. He walked down the hall to the bedroom, hating that he hadn’t had time to paint, since removing a wall. In the divorce settlement, he’d bought Beth out because there was no room for ties, once she said it was over, and now the mess and the expense were all his. He felt ashamed that Carol had to see it unfinished.
.4. “Close you eyes,” Carol instructed, through the closed door. Justin closed his eyes. He was strangely aroused by the way she’d assumed control. He heard the door open. “Good boy,” she said, “let me help you.” Carol led Justin into the bedroom, closing the door behind them, even though they were alone. “Hands over your head!” Justin held his hands high and felt cotton and flesh, as she struggled to remove his turtleneck sweater. Carol undressed Justin and led him to a bed that felt bigger than his. As he sunk into the pillows, she covered him with her flesh. She kissed him and this time it was wet heat and fluid, like jazz. Justin was her instrument and he wanted to be perfectly in tune. He could feel her long curly hair and imagined it falling over the olive flesh of her generous bust. By the time she trailed her fingers along his thigh, took hold of his cock and began to feed herself, Justin was lost. There was no time, just them. She showed him erotic spots that he’d never known, rolling him over and tonguing the back of his knees, until he almost came. She lay beside him, stroking a cock that was so long and thick that he hardly recognized it. “Who are you, really?” he asked. “I’m Carol. Your Carol, at least for as long as you want me.” His eyes had been closed for so long that it felt natural, and yet, he longed to see. “Why don’t you open your eyes?” You’re perfect … Justin opened his eyes and sat bolt upright. Not only was the room painted the soft eggshell that they’d wanted, the reno was complete, right down to the see through shades on the windows. “You can thank Santa,” Carol said softly. “You’ve worked hard enough. This is what you deserve. Let’s go out and celebrate.” Justin suddenly felt like doing just that. Carol was his and he wanted to show her off. “I’m going to get dressed. Check out the bathroom. There’s something there for you.” Justin was awed, but not surprised to see that perfect fixtures had been installed. He was grateful. He ran his hand over the maroon leather jacket that he’d admired so often in the boutique beside his office, and here it was, on a hanger, waiting for him. He slipped into it. Of course, it fit perfectly. “This is the best Christmas ever,” he told her, back in the bedroom. He slipped out of the jacket and they dressed together, as if they’d been doing it all their lives.
.5. Carol wore a simple black sheath that clung to her curves. The scoop neck presented breasts that were Justin’s dream. Downstairs, they jumped into a waiting cab that, without instruction, took them to the jazz club that had been his and Beth’s hangout. A cloud of depressing memories began to descend, but Carol grabbed his hand and he felt better again. She led them to a table right in front of the bandstand. Beth was sitting at the next table, looking bored. `That’s Beth,” Justin said. “I know,” Carol said. Beth actually jumped when she spied Justin. “Hello,” Carol said. “How’re you doing? We love this band.” Justin watched the ‘we’ penetrate Beth’s consciousness, watched jealousy and confusion cloud her brown eyes. He knew she deserved it, but he felt her pain. “This is about closure and new beginnings. Don’t feel bad,” Carol whispered into his ear. When the waiter came, Carol ordered a rare scotch and used a Platinum Plus card to pay for it and her toast was loud enough for Beth to hear: “To new love, to us, forever and always.” And then she kissed Justin, until his cock was bursting out of his jeans. “I’m losing my mind. Let’s go home and enjoy our finished condo.” In ten minutes, Carol had managed to inflict on Beth the very emotional pain she’d caused Justin and Beth was looking absolutely miserable. “You’re no angel,” Justin whispered to Carol. “No, but I’m very horny. Let’s go home, before I get us arrested.” Justin was relieved that she spared Beth the goodbyes. Beth was studiously trying to ignore them and Justin was feeling very guilty. Cruelty was no part of his DNA.
.6. The new bedroom felt like theirs. Carol undressed him and herself, while torturing him with pleasure. “I can’t wait,” she said, finally. “Fuck me, Justin.” Justin fucked her, until his head was about to blow off. “I’m ready,” she said. They came like crazed teenagers, collapsed in each other’s arms, and soon fell asleep.
.7. “Merry Christmas.” Justin awoke to the sound of Carol’s voice and her loving eyes staring down at him. It was a beautiful morning, bright and shining. “Can I get you anything?” Justin yawned and stretched. He was a very happy man. “Haven’t you given me enough?” “Never, but I’m glad you think so. I love it here. I love you.” “I love . . . ” Carol’s mouth claimed his before he could finish his declaration. He’d finally found someone who loved kissing as much as he did. And he couldn’t wait to tell Santa, he’d never let her go.
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